Blog
Blog on the caregiver journey featuring my own story and tips for thriving during challenging times
How Do I Convince My Husband to Travel?
Caregiving can be both physically and emotionally draining. Getting respite is critical to the well-being and even survival of the caregivers. Being the partner of a caregiver makes you a caregiver as well. Often a caregiver thinks they would never get over the feelings of guilt if it turns out the vacation causes them to not be there when a parent passes away. Starting with a brief, local mini vacay can offer the benefits of getting a break which might lead to long weekends and then perhaps even a week away, or a respite retreat near you. Giving voice to your own needs while caregiving and sharing revitalizing activities is critical to long term health of all involved.
How Do I Convince My Husband to Travel?
Caregiving can be both physically and emotionally draining. Getting respite is critical to the well-being and even survival of the caregivers. Being the partner of a caregiver makes you a caregiver as well. Often a caregiver thinks they would never get over the feelings of guilt if it turns out the vacation causes them to not be there when a parent passes away. Starting with a brief, local mini vacay can offer the benefits of getting a break which might lead to long weekends and then perhaps even a week away, or a respite retreat near you. Giving voice to your own needs while caregiving and sharing revitalizing activities is critical to long term health of all involved.
What do I do when I will and my sibling won’t?
How much is too much to ask of another person to help with caregiving? To be healthy, each of us must set our own boundaries. No one wants to be diminished, ignored or trampled over. On the other hand, all relationships involve give and take, so whatever my expectations are does not mean you must meet them. It’s only through clear communication, updated over time for new life happenings, that we can maintain positive, mutually beneficial relationships. Creating clarity will improve willingness to participate within recognized/stated boundaries.
Carpooling Caregiving – Creating a Carepool
The thought occurs to me that we should employ a carpool collaborative effort in our caregiving responsibilities. Why not? What do you think? Could you use some extra time for yourself to, I don’t know, wash your hair? Go for a walk? See a movie? Grab a coffee/tea/cocktail with a friend? Make your list of everything you do and everywhere you go and then reach out to your community, local organizations, friends, and family. Creating opportunities to “carepool” your care duties can reduce your stress and lessen caregiving overwhelm. In the process, you’ll recognize that you are not alone and might find someone with whom you can share stories, commiserate when down, and celebrate when uplifted.
Building Your Village to Caregive With More Ease
If we need a village to raise our children, don’t we also need a village to care for our aging and ill? I couldn’t have helped my mother care for my dad with Alzheimer’s disease if I didn’t create a village. From the paid professionals (lawyer, doctors, financial advisor, home health aides, hospice) and providers of products and tech (medical rentals, house security and cameras, large screen tablets, fall detection systems, medical and senior transport, sanitary and urinary products), to my siblings, friends, and support groups, I needed logistical and educational help to get me through.
I sought out assistance to help with tasks. Asked for guidance, attended classes and events, became a certified home health aide, and read tons of information on the web and in books, about things I knew little. For things I didn’t need to do in-person, I recruited my siblings to help remotely.I encourage you to create your own village and enjoy the feeling of being buoyed by others and the knowledge that you are not alone. Find your joy in some place as often as possible. Once you have these things, caregiving will take on a whole different energetic feeling.